♥ share your feeling ...

You’re going to hate me now
I just don’t know how
You hurt me so bad
Never thought id forgive you
Never thought id be with you
Never though id be playing this tune
How do you think Id feel
You have no idea ....

You’re going to hate me now
I just don’t know how
You hurt me so bad
Never thought id forgive you
Never thought id be with you
Never though id be playing this tune
How do you think Id feel
You have no idea
About the deal
The deal we shared
Just you and me
But you had to destroy it
It never affected you
The way it did me
I hope it will
Do you get it now?
Why I did it
Why I had to…
You’re going to hate me now
I just don’t know how
You hurt me so bad
Never thought id forgive you
Never thought id be with you
Never thought id be playing this tune
It tore me apart inside and out
The pain was unbearable I don’t deny
I HATE YOU
I HATE YOU
Is all I could say and that hurt me more than words can say
You cut me deep
Both mentally and physically
That’s why I did it
Do you understand now?
Of course you don’t
You’re going to hate me now
I just don’t know
How you hurt me so bad
Never thought id forgive you
Never thought id be with you
Never thought id be playing this tune
Not even now you could feel
Feel the pain you placed inside
The pain I bear now Read more ...

You don't know how i feel
you probably dont even care
why do i try to let you know
you never listen to a single word i say
i hate you
but i hate myself much more ...
You don't know how i feel
you probably dont even care
why do i try to let you know
you never listen to a single word i say
i hate you
but i hate myself much more
i cant stand you
but i annoy myself so much more

you turn your back
and act like its all fine
thinking that i will just let this go
you obviously dont know me very well
I hate you
but i hate myself much more
i want to kill you
but i want to kill myself so much more

I just watch you walk away
pretending i dont have a single word to say
cause i have so much more then that
i have my thoughts and my tears so im fine
i lie to you
but i lie to myself much more
i belived in you
but i belived in myself so much more Read more ...

A worm is in my bones
And ts at my core
Until I’m all alone
And more broken than before ...
A worm is in my bones
And ts at my core
Until I’m all alone
And more broken than before

Burrowing deep within
Ending where it begins
Tunneling into my desires
Looking for lies to acquire

I can’t be rid of it now
Taken advantage of once more
Contrary to the doubt
I'm more broken than before

From a man, into a martyr
Broken into a child
As the worm digs ever harder
Eating all the while

In this broken glory
I choke on the smoking purgatory
As the memories in me
Reminisce me into misery

Don’t want to believe
The worm sheltered in me
I break down all the trust
Blown into the wind like dust Read more ...

I sat there shaking
ever complaining
will this world ever seem right
i try and i try
every night to feel happy
smile, laugh and feel right
as people tell me
expect of me
request of me
even though all i want to do is cry
i sit there in the dark
curled up tight
trying to forget
push it down
and hide
so that i can smile and laugh
and feel right
but everyday
i try and try with all my might
but all i can manage
is a fake smile with broken eyes
so i run away
find somewhere to be alone
so i dont have to lie
i can just cry Read more ...

For each tear that I cry
You’re gonna die another time
You’ll never know my darkest hate
A knife through your heart is your fate

Blood for tears; its only fair
The pain you’ve caused will never heal

Paint your heart black as night
This is the last time you’ll see the light
Now I hold in my hand your beating heart
And stab through the middle a rusty dart

Blood for tears; its only fair
The pain you’ve caused will never heal

I love thinking of ways to make you hurt
Like slamming your face into the dirt
My hate goes deeper then words can tell
When I’m done with you, you’ll be glad you’re in hell

Blood for tears; its only fair
The pain you’ve caused will never heal

Every tear that falls down my face
A drop of your blood is in its place
If dreams could kill you’d already be dead
But these things I do are only in my head Read more ...

All my questions remain unanswered
Sometimes I feel upset or tempered
I wish I died inside my mother’s womb
Instead I live and now I am doomed
People think they know me but they don’t
They say they’ll be there for me but they won’t
I suffocate beneath their lies
I guess my heart inside really died
I didn’t love hate but now I do
I controlled but hate always shine right thru
I hate all of their fake smiles
I hear their gossips from far miles
It feels like I wanna smash their head
But that wouldn’t make them half dead
I would open their dirty flesh
I wouldn’t let them scream less
Then I would listen to their gossips
While I listen to music and wine—I sip
I wouldn’t stop the torture when I’m there
Next—I’d pull off their hair
It’d hurt so much that they’ll wish for their deaths
Their prayers won’t reach out while they take their breaths
Blood would come out of their skulls
Then maybe I’d stop the pulls
I’d reveal their real evil inside
Which they have but which they used to hide
In the last minute of their time would be quite an art
I’d pull a sword out and push it right into their black hearts
I’d stomp on their blood organism when they flip
While the victims’ blood slowly drip
If I see one of them again, I swear I’d cut off that face
And I hope their God will take them to a better place. Read more ...

Your not worth the tears
that pour from my heart
my skin
my soul
my eyes
you said you loved me
but all you ever did was lie
you grabed my heart and ripped it out
left nothing behind
left nothing inside
this soul of mine
brusied and hurt
i have a bandage round my heart
Your not worth the tears
that pour from my heart
my skin
my soul
my eyes
you left me standing there
on the edge
ready
ready to push me down below the ground
i hate you
how you made me give you
everything i am
then took it and never gave it back
Your not worth the tears
that pour from my heart
my skin
my soul
my eyes
you made me love you
did you ever love me back
or did you just want to stamp
over everything i am
push me down
below the ground
rip me to pieces
and leave nothing back
but a broken heart
and shallow eyes
that lots the light that made them glow
that lost the thing that made it beat
Your not worth the tears
that pour from my heart
my skin
my soul
my eyes
i speant too much time
getting over you
picking up the broken pieces
and making something new
i'm over you
i'm ready to move on
forget the hate that i now feel for you
just get on with forgetting you
Your not worth the tears
that pour from my heart
my skin
my soul
my eyes Read more ...

I lay on my bed
looking up at my reflection in the cold plate glass
i see a girl staring back at me
cold,dead,still
and i notice her eyes
empty, nothings there
she's just a shell
a picture with no meaning
but there's something
you can see it
in the postion of her body
the way it curves and curls
her arm layed out
her hair flowing like blood
and you can see it there and then
she wants it all to end
pain flows from her image
somethings just not right
she is broken, never again to be fixed
her bodys still and lifeless
and i try to move
but she doesn't
she is gone
but where
i can't find her
i look everywhere
then i stop
and i realise
that girl

is me... Read more ...

why wont u listen to me
im trying to tlk
im trying to say whats been bugging me
but u wont listen
just listen
when im trying to say whats been bugging me
you yell at me for not tlking
for not opening up
but when i try your not there to talk
or your not listening to what i have to say
you just want to be somewhere else
some other day
then you judge me
twist and turn what i say
your not actually listening to the words behind what im trying to say
i wish for once that i would come first
that you would hear what im trying to say
its like im talking to myself anyway
so whats the point
really give me a reason why
why i should talk open up be vunerable
i gave it a try
several times
but it never worked out the way i wanted
the words i would say
the way you would listen
for once in your life stop judging me and just LISTEN Read more ...

You know what,
I've had enough,
All you do is always to blame me,
Blame me for things I never did,
I ain't taking no more shit,
You killed me but I ain't afraid of you nomore,
Leave me alone,
I don't want you in my life
And believe me I will survive,
Coz all you do is bullshit me,
I became dangerous,
A dead soul in a physically livin body,
What else do you want?
My life ain't worth anything,
All you do it make me think am always wrong,
But I woke up, I can see the truth now,
You can't fool me no more,
And eventhough am already dead and numb,
I still will survive. Read more ...

All of these awful thoughts going through my head
I think of everything you ever said
I’m drowning again, all because of you
You’re all I think about, even though we’re through

Just pull me under until I’m dead
How could it be true…what you said
The hardest thing is to pretend
It’s killing me being your friend

You were all I’d hoped and wanted
My trust, you took and flaunted
I’m not going to think of you anymore
Your gifts and poems, I stomp on the floor

You’ll never get me back
I don’t care how hard you try
Your ring, my “diamonds”, I sent them back
All I want to do is stop to cry

I loved you
You lied
I hate you
Hope you die

There was a hole in my heart
You’re the one who’d filled it
There’s a hole in m heart
You’re the one who caused it

I’m beginning to hate you
The hole is closing up Read more ...

Darkness swallowed my soul again
No direction, no sign, just pure bleak
Time deserted me as I was a rock
No reaction, no sense, just pure numbness.

You cannot beat the system
For it'd always swallow you
again and again until nothing is left.

I cannot beat the system
For it has swallowed me
my body and hope drowned in the ditch.

Pull my hair; feel the pleasure
Cut my legs to stop my treasure
Enjoy the burn before you're done
Remember the end is where it all begun.

Slowly I swift away...
As it was no day. Read more ...

I hate you.
I hate you both.
I hate him for not being there when I needed him
I hate her for leaving
I hate her for her bullshit
I hate him because he didn't experience it
Hate her for making us live with no lights, no hot water but she got new shoes ad hairdos and things
But her kids suffered in the end and struggled to maintain appearances
I hate her for lying
Hate him for not trying
He just let her leave with me
And15 years later, I feel as though I'm dying
Made myself sick from crying
All the while she's denying
That she has a problem with spending
Dear Lord where is my happy ending?
Hate him for being a "father" to others but not to me
Hate him for not making us a family
18 years to the day is when he reappeared
And created this fantasy
A D.U.I. got un-emancipated
In a jail cell he stood the day I graduated
Why are things so complicated?
My head is aching, I'm so frustrated
But one thing remains in a constant state
the neverending rememberance of my parental hate
I love them unconditionally
But their past transgressions still enrage me
I play the game of "what if"
But my optimism is shorlived
Because for every happy memory
There are twice as many sad one
Will my heart ever be unbroken?
thi is not self-pity
Just a cry for some release
that one day this parental anger will fade
And I can live with them in peace
But in the present lives my parents pas mistakes
And as long as the bad outweighs the good
Love for them will be conquered by my hate.

from my deepest heart ... Read more ...

Nothing here is bright
Sure, I can enjoy a feast of your moonlight
That I can never reach
Or even lights up the obiturary streets.

I am tired
Ground I step on turn into stones
Cold likewise
The room of the orphanage homes.

I dream too much
Impossibility seemed a shadow on my stage
I wish upon the bleak
Nothing ever last and everything always fade.

I have cried like the rest
I have struggled in a vest
Feed me the rest of your lies
Like you’ve planned till I die
I am here surrounded by the walls
It suffocates me – It watches me fall
It shows me the truth of eternity
Pure dark sights – my destiny. Read more ...

Falling back to the same thing,
Falling back to you again,
Falling back to where I was,
Falling back just because.

Every time I come this far,
All I see is who you are,
You lied too, to get me here,
Again I fall too far,
Fall away from who I am,
Let your knife find its slot amidst my back,
Loving, Fighting, Mending broken ends,
My love for you blinds me again,
I clear my eyes of blue stained tears,
As my heart sears with worries and fears,
I have been here before,
Lost in your eyes,
As you settle the score,

Falling back to the same thing as before,
Falling back to you again,
Falling back to where I was,
Falling back to who I am,

Can you see me for what I really am,
Or do you see a person you can bend,
To you I am simply a pawn in play,
But you and I are fated for a different game,
The question remains along with the blame,
I have come to prove the person I can never be,
A blindfolded spirit tied down with shame,
Doomed to repeat the mistakes I have made,
Screaming for justice in a life rancid with blame,
You have broken my heart and left me to die,
But you can’t kill a spirit that was never alive. Read more ...

I hate you
With everything i prayed
And all the things i said
But the truth is, i never could

I hate you
In every time i view you as a person
And when times you were not a person at all
But the truth is, i never could

I hate you
At times when life is at joy
And practised smiles are everywhere
But the truth is, i never could

Why do i like you?
Is it because i hate you?
Or is it because i dislike you?
Or maybe i just cant live without this warm feeling

Why do i see leaves in diamonds?
Why do i hear bells in the evening?
Is it because...when you are not around
Things are not that perfect anymore?

Because i wished to have a 'perfect' life
And i know without you, i am not anymore?

I noticed..
That i bleed inside when my heart is not filled
I cry each night to know that ure not here
That i stare with envy to other couples around me
And in the end, i feel not smiling when i am alone in my room

So now i know..
Even though i hate you
Deep inside...i care for you
Deep inside...i longed for you
Deep inside...i want to stay with you forever!

Because i love you and my heart is always beside ures..

So now i know the feeling to be loved..
The feeling to be hold and cared..
It is something you could not let go by
Life is so not perfect when you are not around

My dear, will you still hold on to my hands?
Because i will...
And always will..
I am sorry for everything..

PS: To all couples, dont end up ure rship because of stoopid things, its not worth it Read more ...